


to hold the stars in our arms

by mechanicalUniverses



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alpha Centauri - Freeform, Backstory, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Personified Space, Raphael Hung the Stars, author struggles with tagging, raphael was in love with the stars and they loved him back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 06:30:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20372248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mechanicalUniverses/pseuds/mechanicalUniverses
Summary: “Will you tell me about the stars?”A kiss.“Alpha Centauri was one of mine, you know...”





	to hold the stars in our arms

**Author's Note:**

> im the 9174th person to do this, but you know what? i wanna tell it my way. so here it is :D

“Tell me a story, darling.”

“Well whaddya’ wanna hear, angel?”

“Will you—Will you tell me about before?”

“Before what?”

“No, Before-before. Before you Fell, if you can remember.”

Silence.

“I—That was insensitive of me, I didn’t mean—”

“No, no, ‘s not that, Zira. You’re fine. Just… There’s just a lot. We’d be here for years.”

“...You know I love your stories.”

“I know you do.”

“Will you tell me about the stars?”

A kiss.

“Alpha Centauri was one of mine, you know…”

-

Thousands of strands of stars were glittered between his lithe fingertips. More lay dormant as tiny spots all up and down his arms, glowing bold and bright. Still many more were tucked into the feathers of his fantastical wings, fast asleep amongst the plumes. Every single one knew tenderness and devotion the minute they were cradled ever so sweetly in those gentle hands and given their first, _ Hello, I love you, welcome to this wonderful place. _

They knew they would be cherished forever, before, during, and after their deaths, by the way the being those hands belonged to held them up before sun-bright eyes shining with pure love. There was so much love, in fact, that it overflowed in pale wisps around his face and transformed the gorgeous gold irises into soft, infinite glowing pools. It was here that the stars loved to twirl and dance about, soaking up as much as they could before Raphael gently went about collecting them in total reverence.

As a goodbye, he breathed a little portion of his soul into every single one of those brilliant gifts until they glowed and lit up the pitch void of night. Then he whispered to them to be good, and sent them out, and let them spin away until they settled amongst each other, creating scintillating nebulae and mesmerizing galaxies. 

“Aren’t they wonderful,” Raphael murmured aloud. His companion made a non-commital noise. This bothered Raphael, and he turned, cupping a dripping handful of stars. “Do you think they’ll like them?” he asked anxiously. “The humans, I mean, do you think they’ll like the stars? Will they be afraid of them?”

Gabriel hummed again and dragged a finger through a cloud of gold dust. It stuck and clung there closely, prompting him to attempt to wipe it indiscreetly off on his stunning white robe even as they squeaked and protested.

“They must,” he said, still rubbing with no success. “You made them, after all.”

“Yes, but they’re not made by Her hand,” Raphael said. “And I am definitely nothing like Her.” His voice was distant; he was gazing off into the eternal lengths of the sky, watching a young star, still blue in its youth, collide into one of its blazing yellow sisters. They exploded and a shower of shimmering emerald and rose pink and sunset purple scattered in a gorgeous explosion of color. The stardust murmured to itself, surprised by the turn of events, before it fell in love with its existence all over again. It would do this again, and again, and again, as a beetle, a flower, a river stone, a human being. The stars would love themselves in any form, and Raphael would love them, too.

“Was that supposed to happen?” Gabriel asked, mildly disdained. He had been watching, too.

“It was bound to at some point.” Raphael fluttered his hand, and the new star nursery amicably moved itself aside so he could scoop up the gold dust from Gabriel’s finger. “Nothing I could do would be anything _ close _ to being like Her’s,” he continued, pressing his lips to his finger and gesturing the new stars off of his palm. “You’ll love it out there, just be yourself, don’t be shy,” he told them. That one would become the stretching white expanse that was the Andromeda galaxy, but not for a long, long time. 

Raphael would not get to see it grow up.

-

“Oh, stop with the face. I really did talk like that.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that, my dear. It’s that you spoke to _ Gabriel _on a regular basis.”

“I know, I don’t get it either. Dunno how I could stand it. Anyway, he says…”

-

Gabriel chuckled in the mocking _ well, obviously _sort of way. “They’re not meant to,” he said lightly, as though this were the first time Raphael had ever heard this sentiment. “Nothing we angels create is meant to an imitation of Her. It is blasphemy.”

“They’re not,” he agreed. “That means humans can dislike them. I hope they don’t.” Raphael sighed and pulled hydrogen from his pinky and helium from his breath. They gently stirred together in the wrinkles of his palm, glowing brightly under Raphael’s gentle yellow gaze.

“What are you hoping for, then?”

“I hope humans will love the stars as much as I do. I made all of this”—Raphael pushed the clingy galaxy gauzing his arms in gold out and away, holding his arms out for a beat as it sailed away—“for them.”

“They must,” Gabriel repeated. A slightly frostbitten note chilled his words.

“No,” sighed Raphael, “they don’t.”

The pair went quiet. Around they, the low thrum of a breathing universe washed through them.

“Why,” began Raphael, and that was a treacherous beginning of a thought. Why was a question, a question doubted reality, a reality She made that was everything Good and Pure and Perfect. Questions dared to say it was not. “Why have me make these, when She could do it herself and have them all be perfect? Why ask me and make them imperfect? Her’s wouldn’t explode like that.”

They wouldn’t, and can you imagine what a tragedy that would be?

He felt Gabriel’s heavy purple stare shoot through the back of his skull. “Because She made this your purpose,” he said incredulously, as though Raphael had shouted for rebellion against Heaven instead of asking a question—though, in these times, those could be considered one and the same. “She could have, but she blessed you to do it instead. Do you regret what She bestowed upon you?”

“No!” Raphael exclaimed. “No, not at all! I love these skies, I love every single bit of gas and dust, I love these galaxies and stars, and I will love what creatures She creates next—Did you know She let me make one animal, too?” he abruptly said, overcome in his excitement. “It will be called a ‘snake’ and they’ll crawl on their belly to see all of the wonders of Earth hidden beneath one’s foot.”

-

“Crowley…”

“Don’t say it.”

“I really must, though. You are absolutely _ incredible _ and I am grateful to be able to love you _ . _”

“I—You—A—I’m not _ done _ yet! Don’t make me want to kiss you in the middle of a story!”

“Oh, my sincerest apologies my dear. I suppose I’ll have to make it up to you later.”

-

“Hm.” Gabriel went silent. Raphael returned his full attention to the little stars clamoring for him. It was a while before Gabriel spoke again, and when he did, the stars hushed each other in fear of their whispers being overheard.

“You shouldn’t doubt yourself,” he said, oddly grave. “The Almighty gave you your purpose. It wouldn’t do you well you to question it, because She made it. It’s foolish to think imperfections are possible and done on _ accident _.”

“‘Course,” said Raphael absently. One star that would later become the Sun huddled close to him, trying its best to escape the creeping frostiness coming off of Gabriel in blusters. “Thank you for your, ah, reassurance. You can, erm. Go, if you want.”

Gabriel nodded one time and left in a brilliant flash of lilac light. Raphael brought the star to his face and sternly told it, “You’ll shine brighter than anything else in this solar system. I swear it. Don’t be afraid of Gabriel, either, he loves you too. Yes, he does. We all do. ”

The Sun, if it had a mouth, would have smiled. As it was, it merely winked once, before Crowley hung it up to rest in the center of a Solar System that would be placed near the edge of the Sagittarius arm. A little ways away from the Sun, Alpha Centauri quietly began to shine. It was something new Raphael had been tinkering with for centuries now. He had dubbed a binary system. Two stars who depended on each other to stay alive. Criticize it too closely, and it’s obvious there are two stars at work. You’ll miss the intensity, the beauty of the starlight, when they appear to be unified. Gaze upon it from further away to fully wonder in its blazing glory. 

These were some of Crowley’s favorite because so much depended on each other the stars. Too far, and they would be flung off into the void. Too close, and they’ll demolish each other. If they maintained their perfect orbit, they would always skate around each other perfectly, pushing and pulling the other with them in an endless dance in which they never touched. But the two always reached out for the other, annihilation be damned.

-

“A bit like us, I suppose.”

“...You’re right. God dammit, you’re right! ‘S like with the Apple too—”

“How so?”

“I dunno, remember how I asked why not just put it on a mountain or something? If humans weren’t supposed to eat it? Why not just not send you to Earth if I’m not supposed to be in love with you? Could’ve just kept you up in Heaven, but She had to put you in the Garden.”

“My goodness. It really all boils down to free will, doesn’t it? Is it that simple?”

“Aziraphale.”

“Yes, my love?”

“I would choose you over everything else in all of Creation any day. All you have to do is ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for tuning in! inspiration was me being gay and also loving space, and that’s it. it’s 12 am and i’d like to rest. so! goodnight! you’re a wonderful person for taking the time out of your day to read this :)
> 
> come talk to me on [tumblr!](https://scintillating-galaxias.tumblr.com)


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